I have always been fascinated by the “Dear Annie” Mailbox-concept where anyone can ask an expert for advice. But until a week ago I had never thought about how it feels to be the expert receiving questions from strangers in different parts of the world.

When I received this message, I realized: It feels amazing!

“Hi Pia…

I just watched your TED talk and thank you again. I am married to a very introverted man, to whom I ask trivial questions (I now realize) all the time with the intent of connecting. But while he enjoys being at the gym, he doesn't really want to talk about the gym. I know this, but until now it didn't really click. I will find a different way in. :)

But I have a question about questions, languages, and the appearance of intelligence as you mentioned in your comments on curiosity. Right now, I’m preparing for a telephone interview taking place in a couple of hours for a job and the person interviewing me is Czech and speaks Czech German Polish Slovak Spanish.

Of course, he may expect me to ask questions but my reading about him indicates that he’s not a professional hiring manager and may be new to interviewing.

So, would you say that a question from me like, “What do you want me to accomplish in the first year for me to be successful in this role?“, which are well received in English, be taken differently by him? Could he interpret that as me not knowing what I’ll be expected to do?”

Here is my answer:

"Hi!

Thanks for your message. I am very glad you liked my TED Talk.

I don't have a lot of experience in the job interview area, but yes, I would say there is a risk that "What do you want me to accomplish in the first year for me to be successful in this role?" could be interpreted as you not knowing what you'll be expected to do.

Maybe you could think of another way of putting it, so the question is not so much about you and what you are expected to do/accomplish as it is about the task/problem you are supposed to solve?

My studies show that Danish and English speaking people primarily use questions to impose responsibility on others while Spanish and Chinese speaking people primarily use questions to take responsibility themselves, and Russian and German speaking people use questions to empower shared responsibility.

These differences suggests that you might want to formulate your question(s) in a way that emphasizes a focus on successful problem-solving rather than you being a success.

I don't know if that is of any help, but I wish you the best of luck!

Best, Pia"

If you also have questions about questions, don't hesitate to write me an email at pia@qvest.io. I would love to give it a shot 💛

For me it's simple: New Year - Same mission.

I have spent 20 years researching the nature and impact of questions.

📚  I have made philosophical studies of how the understanding of questions has changed from Socrates to Derrida.

🧒 🧒🏻 🧒🏾  I have made observational studies of the different ways questions are used in Chinese, Russian, Spanish and Danish school classes.

🏭  I have collected and analyzed more than 20,000 questions exchanged among leaders and employees in hundreds of organizations.

The good news is that we all know how to ask questions.

The bad news is that the tools leaders use to understand and develop our companies and communities systematically prevent large populations of people from asking questions.

I have dedicated my professional life to changing that 💛

P.s. I have updated my LinkedIn profile to make sure you know how to find me if you agree that Questions = Magic ✨

Dagens låge er inspireret af Simon Sinek og Nietzsche.

Sinek er kendt for bogen og ledelsesrådet: "Start with Why". Han arbejder for en verden "in which the vast majority of people wake up inspired and feel safe wherever they are."

Nietzsche skriver:

"Har man sit hvorfor? med livet, så forliger man sig med næsten ethvert hvordan? - Mennesket stræber ikke efter lykke; det gør kun englænderen."

Når jeg læser Sinek, tænker jeg:

"Ja tak! 2 af dem. Nej, stik mig 4, så er der også til ungerne!"

Når jeg læser Nietzsche, tænker jeg:

"Hvad er nu det? Hvis det kun er englænderen, der stræber efter lykke, hvad stræber jeg så efter?"

Og det er netop pointen - og forskellen:

Sineks 'Why' er ikke først og fremmest et spørgsmål, men svaret på, hvad lykken er, og hvordan man opnår den. Det er derfor undertitlen på hans bog er: "How great leaders inspire everyone to take action".

Nietzsches 'Why' derimod, er ikke svaret på noget som helst.

Det er, hvad det er: Et spørgsmål.

Nietzsche ved, at hverken han, Sinek eller andre "great leaders" har svaret på det, vi mennesker stræber efter.

Det har kun vi selv.

Og kun hvis vi gør plads til spørgsmålet.

What if the one problem behind all the problems humanity is facing has to do with the way we solve problems?

Whether the problem is climate change, health crises, polarization, big tech monopoly or inequality, we seem to agree that the first step in solving any important problem is to communicate that the problem is everyone’s problem.

But what if the perception of important problems as ‘everyone’s problems’ is part of the problem?

What if the most important part of solving important problems is to make sure that as many people as possible perceive ‘everyone’s problem’ as ‘my problem’?

And what if no leader, expert or AI-driven tool can motivate, mobilize or force us to perceive important problems as ‘my problems’?

What if the only thing that can make us perceive important problems as ‘my problems’ is the act of asking our own questions?

And what if most people are systematically prevented from asking their own questions in the way we solve important problems?

The problems humanity is facing cannot be solved by a single person, company or nation. They require shared responsibility. But for us to feel part of the solution, we must also feel part of the problem.

And that calls for all of us to ask our own questions.